A Holiday Diversion

Sometimes, cavemens' minds wander. Such is the case with this post.

Perhaps I was lulled into pondering this holiday problem while I was waiting for my prey to come into range. Or perhaps, I was resting after planting winter crops when I thought up this issue. It doesn't really matter.

Why do so many people, when thinking about a song and Santa Claus, always seem to think about the song, "Jingle Bells"?

"Jingle Bells" has absolutely nothing to do with Santa Claus! Singing the song in the presence of or earshot of Mr. Claus is nice, but meaningless.

I will post the lyrics, line by line and prove to all of you that "Jingle Bells" and Santa Claus have nothing to do with each other.

Dashing through the snow
Santa doesn't dash through snow. He flies over it.
In a one horse open sleigh
It takes eight reindeer to pull Santa's sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Who else rides with Santa on Christmas Eve?
Laughing all the way.
Don't you think laughter would wake up the kids?
Bells on bob tails ring
Have you ever seen a reindeer with a "bob" tail, whatever that is?
Making spirits bright
This is the truest line, so far
What fun it is to laugh and sing
Here again, I caution Santa and whoever he is with to not wake up the children.
A sleighing song tonight.
Does anybody know another "sleighing" song in Southern California?

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
I must protest having bells on the tails of eight reindeer. Oh, the noise it creates
Jingle all the way
You mean to say that Santa will have to listen to jingling bells all around the world?
Oh, what fun it is to ride
I agree, riding can be fun
In a one horse open sleigh
One horse could not pull the weight of Santa's sleigh.
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Here we go again with all those noise makers
Jingle all the way,
Loud bells all around the earth? NOT!
Oh, what fun it is to ride
O.K., fun it probably is
In a one horse open sleigh.
Santa rides in an eight reindeer open sleigh!

A day or two ago
When, exactly was that?
I thought I'd take a ride
At least you are thinking.
And soon Miss Fanny Bright
WHO??? What about Mrs. Claus. I guess you stopped thinking
Was seated by my side.
I won't tell, if you don't tell
The horse was lean and lank
The horse would be near death trying to pull Santa's sleigh with two people riding in it.
Misfortune seemed his lot
Misfortune probably was his name, too
We got into a drifted bank
I wish banks would drift over to me and give me money
And then we got upshot
I think I am going to upchuck. That is terrible!

Chorus repeats twice.

"Jingle Bells" was written in 1857 by the Reverend James Pierpoint, who composed the song for children celebrating his Boston Sunday School's Thanksgiving.

Merry Christmas to all. And to all, a good night.

Peace and be well,

Mark