Sometimes a Caveman's Mind Wanders

Many cavemen can sit for hours just thinking. Many of our thoughts are not understandable by non-cavemen, and most certainly by most women.

For me, I call it "pondering." Perhaps I see something that makes me think about things. Sometimes I finally grasp a bizarre concept and try to see if it relates to reality.

I am going to share an example how this particular Caveman can view something so seemingly natural and common, but with pondering, find it completely foreign and not-understandable.

My wife and I were a Costco, a giant warehouse type store, and we wandered through the newly placed Christmas stuff and toys. As I pass a small plastic Santa Claus, a song came out of him:

"Dashing through the snow,
in a one-horse open sleigh.
O'er the fields we go,
laughing all the way.
Bells on bobbed tails ring,
making spirits bright.
Oh, what fun it is to sing
a sleighing song tonight."

You all should know the song; "Jingle Bells."

As I heard the song coming out of the plastic, jiggling Santa, I stopped.
"Wait a minute." I said to my wife. I again went back to the jolly looking doll to watch it wiggle and have that song coming from it. Something was very wrong about Santa singing "Jingle Bells."

I pondered. When I got home, I pondered more. Santa Claus has no business singing "Jingle Bells." It is a song that the "right jolly old elf" has anything to do with. Please consider the following;
Santa doesn't "dash through snow", he flies over it.
No "one horse" can pull his sleigh. He needs eight trained Reindeer.
I will admit Santa does go "o'er the fields", but he is usually alone when he flies over them.
I hope Santa is always in a good mood on Christmas Eve and he laughs a lot. But I don't imagine he laughs "all the way."
It is much easier, I believe, to bob a horse's tail than a reindeer's tail, and there has never been an illustration of any bells on any bobbed tails of Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, or Blitzen.
Yes, it might be fun for folks to sing sleighing songs, but according to "A Visit From Saint Nick",
Santa was not witnessed singing anything.

So to me, the idea of Santa Claus riding with another person, in a one-horse sleigh, making lots of noise by singing and having bells on the horse's tail ring doesn't seem plausible. Sure he may do it on another night other than Christmas Eve, but to have anyone believe that "Jingle Bells" has anything to do with Santa Claus, is not reasonable, in my opinion.

I'm still pondering on a more proper song for a wiggling, singing, plastic Santa to have come out of it. Perhaps it should transmit "Frosty the Snowman", but there too, I can't connect the two individuals together.

This calls for lots more pondering.