Fashion? You are Kidding?

Cavemen and fashion. Hopefully this is the only time you will ever see those two words so close together.

We have no fashion sense. This one, seemingly small fact, gets us in more trouble than you can imagine.

How many of you have asked a caveman, Do I look fat in this outfit? Did you like the response?
The response was either a lie or a veiled attempt to attract you to the events dealing with the creation of cavebabies. If our answer was the truth, we probably had to spend the next several nights on a couch, far away from the cavebaby creation process.

We have no fashion sense. It is not our fault. We didn't need to care what size you looked to be, we just needed to learn that the bigger prey was the better prey. We are still, pretty much clueless to the specter of fashion. If that is being genetically impaired to you, then, so be it.

We do like colors, though. The more you look like an animal or a plant, the more we are attracted to you. Again, it is in our nature. If you look like the food we want to gather, there is a better chance of attracting us. See how utterly simple we are?
Why do you think Carmen Miranda wore those fruity hats and colorful costumes? You saw a singing and dancing queen. We saw dinner.

One of my two sons is not a caveman. He is a straight male, like many other non-cavemen, who does have a fashion sense. Sometimes when it is time for me to pick clothes other than blue jeans and polo shirts, I take him along to pick out the clothes that he and my wife think I would look good in. I don't particularly care what they pick out, as long as it is comfortable.

My other son is a caveman. He and I share our lack of care in fashion. He is one more reason I think I am a gatherer and not a hunter caveman. I must have passed his color sense down to him. His favorite color is green. He has been attracted to the many shades of green all his life. Above all other colors, the kid picks green. Cave-daughter-in-law now picks his clothes.

Please people, if you ask a caveman their opinion about what you are wearing, accept their comment that they have no opinion. They truly don't care much of the time what your clothes look like or how you fit into them. Unless of course, you look like an animal or plant!