Common Caveman Behaviors 1

From time to time I will attempt to teach folks who know and love cavemen, some common behaviors that every single caveman enjoys.

There is something genetic and very natural for all true cavemen to enjoy. I will fill you in on behaviors you most certainly already know, but thought that your caveman was special.

It is an absolute certainty that a true caveman was the first to coin the phrase; "Hey kid, come here and pull my finger." Breaking wind, passing gas, farting, whatever you may call it, is an enjoyable practice and behavior of all true cavemen.

The smellier, the louder, the most disruptive, the better. If a caveman can clear the room of other cavemen, then he is champion of all he sees. We also enjoy when our cavewomen break wind. It is a natural and unspoken sign that they have the right to try to get even with us. But make no mistake, the true caveman is master of the methane.

Belching is fun. It just is. Again, the smellier, the louder, the most disruptive, the better. What better place to let loose a loud burp than a fancy restaurant, while dining with your in-laws. The caveman's father-in-law will certainly understand even though he is compelled by the mother-in-law to at least give a little scowl at the offending son-in-law.

A big dog chewing crunchy or crispy food is surely to get a real caveman, at least, chuckling. We cannot help it. There is something in our being that finds a big Lab or Great Dane chomping down on a handfull of Potato Chips, something we simple can't help laughing at. Give a dog some Peanut Butter, and we'll watch with glee for hours. It is unexplainable, yet it is so natural. It doesn't matter if we have heard the sounds a thousand times before. We still can't help belting our at least a giggle or chuckle.

We all enjoy one special "throne" in which to do number 2. Pooping is a science for cavemen and we are quite the masters on this subject. As I wrote about my father's favorite toilet, the one he would come home to after being away for days or weeks, every caveman has that one special place where he feels most comfortable doing his duty.

We make strange noises when we eat. My cavewoman finds it humorous. She thinks I'm grunting like a wild animal when I am chewing whatever meat that I am enjoying. Perhaps this behavior is unconcious to us and we don't even know we are doing it. It seems we also get a bit defensive when the noises that come out of us are commented on by others. It is perfectly to let the commentators know that you are a caveman and you are supposed to make noises when you chew. Slurping drinks and soups is also authorized.

If you know of other behaviors that you feel all cavemen have in common, you can Email me at the address on the top of the blog and I'll see if it is true and comment on it.