The Cave, Part One

Every Caveman needs a cave. This is an undeniable fact. It is as true as any other fact you know.

The sun is the center of our solar system. Cavemen need caves.

One plus One equals Two. A Caveman must have a cave. Get the picture?

Of course you do. All of your life around a caveman, you have witnessed his efforts to find and keep at least one cave wherever he lives.

A cave is where a caveman goes to relax and contemplate the day's hunt or the harvest he works hare to gather. The cave is where a caveman is most comfortable. His cave must not be shared by non-cavemen or most women in his life, (unless that caveman and the woman are dealing with aspects of his assistance in creating cavebabies).

Our cave is the center of our world. We must return to our cave to refresh our spirit and gather the strength for future hunts, more cultivation, and entertaining thoughts and plans to assist in the creation of more cavebabies.

Growing up, my caveman-dad had his cave. It was a vinyl recliner that sat in the corner of the living room. It was his one spot in the entire world that he could just relax and deal with life. As the years went by, his cave would need replacing. Replacing caves is one of the few area where men actually enjoy shopping. I think "Archie Bunker's" cave is still in the Smithsonian.

Other cavemen have caves with four wheels, more or less. Sometimes they spend tremendous amounts of money purchasing, restoring, and showing them. This is another aspect of cavemen in competition.

My cave is the same room I grew up in for 12 years. When I was nine, our house got an addition and I got my own bedroom. Cave-dad had his chair, I got my room. When I moved back into the house at the age of 43, I naturally put my cave-stuff in the same room. I didn't even think of putting in the larger of the two front bedrooms.

My wife has learned what all wives of cavemen learn: don't mess with a cave. A caveman need complete control of his cave. Wives can have almost the entire rest of the house, just don't mess with the cave. Unless the caveman grants you access to or use of part of the cave, please, for the sake of lessening the amount of stress in the family, leave his cave alone.

A garage or workshop is most certainly the cave of many cavemen. While walking our dogs around the neighborhood, we always see the same caveman in his garage, every single night. The garage door is always open and the caveman is doing nothing or doing something or conversing with other caveman neighbors.

Cavemen are more comfortable sharing their cave with another caveman or cavebaby.

My Caveson had his cave in any tree he could climb. When he was little he had to share his home and bedroom with my non-caveson. So caveson could usually be found in a tree, contemplating things or just watching the world go by.

Caves can be places or things. I am sure many of you who know cavemen know that a particularly wonderful cave has usually a white ceramic stool-like structure that contains water and can be flushed. Many, many cavemen consider this place to be their secret, or hide-a-way cave. Let the world rush forward as a caveman takes his time in that type of cave.

All of you who know real cavemen inherently know about their caves. You have had to deal with them, and support their need for their cave.

I shall ponder more and write about this most important topic in the future.